Tring

Today was my day off, so I hopped on a train and took it to Tring, a village in the foothills of the Chilterns. I grabbed a trail map when I arrived at the station, and think I did about a 20km walk through fields, pastures, groves, forests- the whole like! It was amazing!

Take that

Our hostel room gets rather toasty some nights, so we keep the window by my bed open to let air circulate. Part of living in Camden has involved getting use to the crazy night-life that goes on here. It's not all "a whole new world" (begin Aladddin song). I use to get woken up regularly at 4am to people yelling at eachother at the McDonald's Drive-thru by my house in Toronto. All that to say, the night-life here is pretty rowdy, and especially living in the room above the entrance to the hostel. Lots of people smoke here, so the smell of cigarettes is often wafting up into our room, along with lots of noise at hours of the day when people are suppose to be sleeping. Last night I got a little tired of it, so I dumped the remains from my Nalgene water bottle out the window to see what would happen (passive, I know). "Wait for it... wait for it." The talking stopped, and I heard someone shout, "You idiot!" (Who, me?)Then the talking ceased, quite quickly after the whole thing. I slept great!

Dying to myself

I've been thinking a lot lately about what it means to die to myself, and find real life in Jesus. Part of me has thought that I did a lot of dying to myself when I moved over here. Part of me is beginning to realize that dying to self is a daily thing, and not a one-time event or occasion. Yesterday in our team devotions, Dan read from Acts 14- "... encouraging them to continue in the faith, and saying that through many tribulations we must enter the kingdom of God." When we were walking through the market later that day, we started talking about the passage in Luke 9, about daily taking up our crosses for Jesus. And the cool thing was that this morning at our prayer meeting in the market, the stall owner leading took us through that very passage.
Being here in Camden is me being a part of the hands and feet of Jesus here. We are the reflection of Jesus in this place, but that involves daily dying to our own pursuits and desires and schedules and attitudes, and taking on the righteousness of Christ and trusting that His ways are the best and most rewarding, because He is calling us to be part of an eternal kingdom that is bigger than what we see.
"And he said to all, 'If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will save it.'"
Taking up my cross here doesn't just involve me, it involves being willing to suffer for the sake of others, because I want them to experience the lasting reward of knowing Jesus. This verse outlines that losing myself in Jesus comes before the reward (the "saving"). And that's a hard thing, because I'm called to jump in and have faith that He is faithful in all of this. I feel this challenge and call to come and die to myself a lot, and it's hard! It can be the "smallest" or "biggest" thing. It could mean going to bed earlier at night, so that I am more awake in morning prayer meetings. It could mean having to give up being in my lifelong friend's wedding in November, because I can't fly back to NA for it. It could mean walking down High street at a slower pace, so that I actually take in what's going on around me and pray for the people walking past me. It could mean letting Jesus meet me in the lonliness when I am wishing for a friend to do something with.
I'm realizing that it's okay to admit that taking up my daily cross for Jesus should involve small and big sufferings.And the fullness of Jesus will meet me in those times, because He's told me that in the dying to self, He offers life to the fullest!

"All that we Christians are called upon to do, all we can do, is to be an open watercourse for the divine love. We do not create any part of it; it would be an arrogant illusion to think we did. We must not blockade it; if we did, we would be the adversaries of God, not His children. We are simply to reflect it, back to Him and out to His world. Our calling is to give it free flow.

That means we are never generous. We never give any gifts. We are merely to be the channel for the good gifts which come in a steady stream from God. He expects us to take the vitality, which he pours into our veins, and the money, which He has given to us in trust, and to see to it that they are spent for the things that are closest to His heart. It is all that simple- and imperative. LORD, KEEP THE CONDUIT THAT LEADS THROUGH ME FROM BEING CLOGGED!"
-"The Source and the Flow," a 1967 stewardship article

Hello awkward hostel situation

Walking out of the hostel this morning on my way to the prayer meeting...
Middle-Aged Man (known as "Lady Gaga man" among our team, since he seems to like her music a lot!) staying at the hostel: "Good morning, Elizabeth!"
Me: "Good morning! How's it going?"
Lady Gaga Man: "Good! I like your accent."
Me (slightly confused, since this isn't the first time I've talked to him): "Oh, thanks."
Lady Gaga Man: "I want to kiss your accent."
Me (now past confused and onto creeped out): "Um, I have no idea how to respond to that." ...Picking up my pace as I continue walking down the street away from the hostel. I think I'll stay close by the interns this evening.

Camdentown

Toes toes toes!

This morning in our Camden staff-team meeting, I was sitting on a chair with my toes apparently curled around the leg of the seat. My teammate Oli prays with his eyes open. After we had finished praying, he told me that he was freaking out during the prayer, because the way my foot was positioned, it looked like I didn't have any toes! He said that he began wondering how in the world he had never noticed that before, and what kind of accident I must have been in to cause that kind of damage. "Surely I should have known that Elizabeth doesn't have toes on one of her feet. We were even at a picnic the other week with everyone, and I didn't notice! How does she walk?" I reminded him throughout the morning that my toes are infact all there.

God is the Ruler yet

This is my Father's world.
O let me ne'er forget
that though the wrong seems oft so strong,
God is the ruler yet.

I really needed to hear these words today. The spiritual oppression in Camden seems so so strong. It almost feels like it's not part of His domain, and the darkness is so dark. I've never been in a place where Jesus seems so far away, and I'm feeling weary of the spiritual battle, and scared that I've only been here for a couple of weeks. I long to believe that He is really here and present, and I'm scared that I'm feeling this way. I'm scared that I don't know the answer to "What difference would He make here?" right now. But S reminded me this afternoon that this is part of being in a churchplant position in a place like Europe, and that I need to be asking for much prayer in the battle right now.

Hide me now
Under your wings
Cover me
within your mighty hand

When the oceans rise and thunders roar
I will soar with you above the storm
Father you are king over the flood
I will be still and know you are god

Find rest my soul
In Christ alone
Know his power
In quietness and trust

Some Things that I really like about Londoners

-When you're getting off the phone with a Londoner, they almost always say "bye" repeatedly. "Bye, bye, goodbye, bye."
-Most people I smile at here return the smile! yay!
-People here in Camden will almost always stop what they're doing to have a conversation.

ie: Me to the guy at the phone store yesterday (who had already told me that he was short-staffed and exhausted)- "Do you recommend a good place to watch the match tonight?"
Phone guy- "I was just going to ask you that! Do you know of any good places around here?"

-The underground tube drivers have personalities when they make announcements about delays... "Right, we're just sitting here for 30 seconds. I had a bit of a heavy foot on the pedal."

The Street-sweeper

Your head was hung low, like you were feeling defeated. I saw you walking down High Street with a broom in your hands, sweeping up the garbage that we've all left on the ground. I wondered what thoughts were running through your head as you picked up after others. Did you feel frustrated that you were always cleaning up after people who seemed so rushed and in a hurry? Did you ever get a "thank you"? Did you spend all day listening to your ipod and your own thoughts and not feeling like anyone walking past really cared about YOU. Do you know that you're loved by Someone who really cares about everything that's going on in your life, and everything that's wearing you down?

I tapped you on the shoulder, and your head came up from the ground. Your eyes looked so sad. "Thank you for cleaning up the streets. It makes a big difference here in Camden." I just felt like you needed to hear that today. You looked at me, your eyes red from exhaustion or crying. You looked back down at the grounnd and then back at me, and I could tell that you really needed to hear that today.

That was on Tuesday, and I still find myself sitting here feeling burdened for you. I don't know your name, but I'm praying that you know the deep, rich love and joy of Jesus today. He cares about you. His yoke is easy and His burden is light.

"Take that" Bad Pizza Experience!

The bad pizza experience on Saturday was definitely redeemed last night, as our team went out for Italian! Hollah! :) We were joined by a lady who has been over here for 7 years working on a ministry to help women who have been trapped in the sex-trade industry of London. I got shivers hearing her talk about ways that God has been at work, not only in women's lives, but also for the ways that He's used campaigns against the demand side of prostitution (she's helped to change legislature here on human rights, as well as some other crazy stuff). Some of the interns are going to be helping her out this summer, and I'm really excited to see how I can help throughout the year. This is definitely an area that I've been feeling burdened about and want to serve in.

Today is the first day in many where I've woken up to grey skies. I've been told that this very sunny summer in London is not normal at all. Another reason to say "Bless the Lord"!

Bless the Lord, O my soul

Some reasons for me to say "Bless the Lord" (Psalm 103) today:

-I ran into TWO people I know while running by the canal this morning! YAY for knowing some people in a new place.
-Had breakfast with close family friends who were travelling through London. So nice to see some familiar faces.
-Hanging out with M and T in Hounslow this afternoon.
-I found out today that the tea shop that I've already deemed my favourite has wireless, which definitely makes it the place I will hang out lots in!

Pizza?

My fellow apprentice-friends and I spent our afternoon off exploring Hyde Park and enjoying a picnic in the grass today. We then ventured over to Picadilly Circus, where we lazed in Starbucks for a couple of hours and read (so nice!). Then the best part came, the part I had been looking forward to all day!! PIZZA!! And not just any kind of pizza, but real American pizza- cheesy, tomatoey goodness ontop of steaming, soft crust, or so we had hoped. Enter "Scotch Steak Houses" restaurant, the name itself should have said something, as we walked inside to be greeted by the same Celine Dion song "Asian style" being played over and over again, in a definite Chinese restaurant atmosphere. But the sign outside said "Pizza Pizza Pasta", so sat down we did, right by the window. Toph, Megan, and I looked over the menu and didn't see pizza, so we thought we had entered the wrong place. We awkwardly got up to leave, but the server brought us a lamanated piece of paper with pizzas on it, so we sat back down. We ordered two presumably medium-sized pizzas, but when they served them, they were the size of a dinner plate. I looked down at my Hawaiian pizza, and noticed that there was no cheese on it. It looked like frozen pizza crust topped with some stuff, but no cheese. I asked the waitress, who informed me that cheese wasn't on the list of toppings in the menu. "Oh, I just assumed that cheese came on pizza. Where we're from, we have cheese on pizza." We left the place as quickly as possible, having eaten a couple of bites and not being too keen on it. It was probably one of the weirdest pizzas I'd ever had. Upon leaving the Scotish/Asian/Italian/American/Pick a culture restaurant, we turned the corner on the street to see a large Pizza Hut sitting right smack dab infront of us. "Don't look!" Megan said to me. But I did, and the people inside were eating soft, warm, gooey pizza, with LOTS of cheese ontop. Next time, next time.

SUCCESS!! I love those days when you feel like you beat the system! Today it was navigating my way around the tube and bus and train system, all in one ride! WOOT! I only had to ask 2 people for help, but that was fun in itself, because one of them was decked out in great attire for the Wimbleton match. :)

The lines

"The lines have fallen to me in pleasant places." Psalm 16:6
This verse came to mind this evening, as I was sitting in my bunk in a tiny Camden hostel room, where my 5 interns and I are camped out for the next 5 weeks (I've been calling it our mini-van, because that's about the size it is!). I've really been feeling a depth of loneliness that's feeling heavy, as the reality of being in this foreign place for a long time sets in, and I long for "tastes" of home. I think I got about 3 hours of sleep last night- our first night in our hostel room. The nightlife of Camden is pretty happening, and there was a ton of noise throughout the night on the street. I got to Hounslow this morning with the 5 interns, really tired and dragging my feet. We were going to help the Southall team with a book table today. And after I ran to Starbucks and grabbed a caffeinated drink, the zombiness started to wear off a bit, and I went around high street chatting with people. It was so so cool and energizing, and great to be out and doing surveys and just talking to people from different places in the world, some who mentioned the loneliness they struggle with (being a young foreigner here provides a good ground for talking). I felt like we had something in common, and I was able to say that I am also new to the country and am struggling with lonliness too. I've been quick to complain that my living conditions for the next month are hard, and that I'm really exhausted and lonely. But this evening it just hit me that in all of that, the lines have fallen in gracious places in my life today, because I know the hope and love and changelessness of Jesus Christ, and I am no longer an alien or orphan (Eph 1), but a daughter of His family. So yeah, things might be hard and lonely, and I might find Camden crazy intimidating right now, but I know the treasure of Jesus, and am no longer walking in darkness, and that's huge and worth sharing!!