Dear well-dressed British businessman,

I saw that look of agony and dismay on your face as you jumped through the horde of tourists on Oxford Street today, and I felt your pain. I will join you in signing my name to any of those petitions that request that a barrier be put down the middle of the sidewalk to keep the shopping tourists to their own pace. I really don't want to keep stepping on their heels.
Hope you made it home,
E