Lately I've been struggling with feeling like I've fallen through the cracks in life. Last night I was walking to the store and all of a sudden I felt like I got kicked in the stomach. It dawned on me that my whole support network and community that I've known and loved for so long isn't here. It's all new... It's like I'm starting over with everything. Making videos and emailing them to friends back home isn't the same as sitting across from them and laughing about something that happened 5 years ago. I can't find Halls in the grocerystore when my throat is sore. The accumulation of my material life is boxed up in a crawlspace in northern Ontario. They don't have toaster ovens here, and I don't have an oven. How do I make pizza? People ask me what I do for a living, and I don't know what to say now, but, "I help network for a churchplant." "What does that entail?" they ask. "Pretty much talking to people," I laugh. I can't call up my sister and ask if I can come up for the afternoon and hang out with her and the kids. Almost everyone is getting married or in serious relationships. I live in a city so crowded and huge that I feel like a speck walking down the street. Sometimes I just want to yell out, "We are all significant!" JESUS MAKES ME SIGNIFICANT. Everything else around me feels new, raw, unpredictable, and out of control. Sometimes I just want to scream. But Jesus is my significance. This is something I really long to know and believe deeply. If Jesus doesn't make me significant, then what's the point of it all? He's the only thing worth living for, and with all this dying to self that I feel like I'm going through, He stands there with His arms wide open and says, "E, you belong to Me."