Wind

Last Monday I had the chance to go out to a retreat centre located on the outer edge of London. A bunch of the other women from the mission in London were there, and the purpose was to spend the day alone with God. One of my favourite moments in the day (along with getting to pet some beautiful donkies) was finding a hill in the middle of a big field, and sitting down in the grass. It was a beautiful day, and I couldn't see anyone. It was quiet, and the grass was just high enough to watch the wind rip through it. I'd sit there and hold my breath as the shadows of the wind moved through the field towards me, and then all of a sudden "shadows" of the wind were on me and I would feel a burst of air. It was amazing! I couldn't see the wind, but I could see and feel the effects of the wind.

Bob, our field director here, was recently talking to us about how we're in the inbetween time. There was the Old Age, but when Christ came, he ushered in the New Age. Now we're in a period where we still feel some of the effects of the Old Age (sickness, terrorism, death, lonliness, etc), but we also taste some of the New Age. And there is coming a day when Christ will return, and the Old Age will be completely abolished, and we will only experience the New Age (amen!).

This afternoon I sat on another patch of grass. This grass was cut short, and it was surrounded by city, and I wasn't alone. I sat with a girl whom I've befriended here. We talked about death, and she told me that she gets so scared when she thinks of dying, because she doesn't know what's to come. She thinks she believes in a heaven and hell, but "isn't that just another idea. No one really knows, right?" I experienced a different Wind moving in her as we talked about how there has to be something more to life than just living and dying (Doesn't history itself and all its atrocities show that we are so in need of saving?). I didn't have all the answers, and I fumbled with my words, and looking back, I should have brought Jesus into the conversation more. But I know that the Holy Spirit ("Wind") was poking at her heart.

Sitting on the hill last week and watching the wind weave through the grass, and feeling bursts of it on my face was similar to today. I can't see the wind, but I know it's there because I can see it at work. Sometimes I feel huge bursts of it against my face, and I can barely breathe because it feels so delightful (like conversations like today). And other times I struggle with feeling alone on that hill, wanting so much to just be able to SEE the "Wind" and stop struggling to really believe that it's all around me and moving in people's hearts. It was encouraging to see the effects of the "Wind" today, after my time on the hill last week, and be challenged to look for it more around me.